Category: Parents Zone

Written by: Fong Wai Kwan, Dr. Kong’s Professional Team of Registered Physiotherapist

Parents should avoid letting their children develop the following bad postures, which can affect the development of the spine:

When children are doing their homework, they should avoid sitting sideways to one side, as this posture can easily lead to uneven use of force on the left and right sides of the spine, causing problems such as scoliosis. At the same time, they should maintain an upright posture in both the neck and waist.

Written by: The Educational Psychologist Team of the Heep Hong Society

For young children with autism who have intellectual and language abilities at the 5-6 year old level, what kind of books should they read? What techniques should parents use when reading with their children?

Young children with high-functioning autism should be able to understand simple moral stories. Parents can refer to the “social story” format to help children with autism effectively understand the content. When the child is familiar with the story content, parents can replace the main character with other real people, or even the child themselves, so that the child can gradually put themselves into the moral story scenario. The story characters can be changed, and the story plot can also be slightly altered: for example, “grandma’s house” can be changed to “aunt’s house”, allowing the child to flexibly apply what they have learned. Of course, changes to the characters and plot should be made before the child develops rigidity towards the story details. As for fables, fairy tales and mythological stories that commonly use abstract metaphors, they can be used only when the child with autism has the ability to generalize their knowledge.

In terms of cognition, when the child’s comprehension reaches a certain level, parents can emphasize emotional words in the story, such as “When she saw the dog, Mei Mei was very scared.” When the child is ready to learn the concept of sequence, parents can emphasize the description of time, such as “Mei Mei did something wrong, and then she said she was sorry.” Based on the child’s level, parents can utilize each page of the storybook, adding or emphasizing appropriate words.

Written by: Fung Ji Hei, Game Therapist

I just participated in a professional development exchange activity for teachers in Taiwan, and witnessed how Taiwan’s education system emphasizes using exercise to cultivate children’s growth. This has given me new inspiration, and I hope to share it with all parents. One of the schools we visited for the exchange could be called a “mini sports university” – “Tiger Forest Elementary School”. As soon as I stepped into the school, the students greeted us with the government-promoted fitness exercises. They followed the rhythm to raise their hands and move their bodies, doing all kinds of warm-up movements. It made me feel like they were as lively as little tigers, and I felt like I had entered a forest full of little tigers.

Exercise Can Strengthen Children’s Learning Ability

Principal Liu of Tiger Forest Elementary School said that the school is a key government school focused on the physical development of the students, and believes that exercise can strengthen their learning ability. They are based on the research of John J. Ratey, MD, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and advocate the “Anytime Exercise” program. This program encourages students to exercise at any time. During breaks, students run to any part of the playground to exercise, some play dodgeball, some climb on the jungle gym, and some play badminton. All the students enjoy every moment of exercise.

Written by: Lai Shun Mei, Family Dynamics Counselor and Global Career Developer

When a child is born, people like to discuss his appearance, using his resemblance to his parents as a topic of conversation, and talk about which attractive features he has inherited from them. As he grows older and his temperament begins to show, they also like to explore whose personality he resembles.

It is generally easier to get along with someone who has a similar temperament because similar personalities and preferences make it easier to connect. If a child has a temperament similar to their parents, it seems to make parenting easier. However, it often seems like God enjoys playing jokes on us by giving us “mismatched” children: an outgoing and lively mother ends up with a quiet and introverted daughter; a hot-tempered father faces a sensitive and sentimental son; a mother who doesn’t understand fun encounters a hedonistic son.

Parents who seek help often share the common issue of having difficulty getting along with their “mismatched” child. They cannot accept the child’s nature, do not understand the child’s behavior, and do not know how to properly guide their child.

The outgoing and lively mother “complained” to me: “My daughter dawdles, is hesitant, and doesn’t dare to make friends outside.” She couldn’t understand: “What’s so difficult about brushing teeth? What’s so scary about attending English class? What’s there to be shy about when meeting other kids?” Why is her daughter nothing like her but instead resembles her indecisive, introverted, timid, and unambitious father? As she spoke, she indirectly revealed to me that her problem was not accepting her spouse and projecting her dissatisfaction with her spouse onto their daughter. Therefore, the issue was not with her daughter but with their marital relationship.

Written by: Dr. Cheung Kit

In this era, parents’ protection of their children surpasses that of any previous generation. This may be due to the decrease in the number of children and the improvement in living standards, leading to parents spending more time and providing more comprehensive care for their children. Under such (possibly excessive) protection, children often become very self-centered and disregard the importance of others. From the parents’ perspective, they are inevitably biased and more tolerant of their own children. When faced with their children’s inappropriate behavior, parents tend to make excuses for them. This common human behavior, however, may lead to children becoming unruly. Therefore, in the difficult situation of balancing right and wrong, if someone is willing to “offer help and guidance,” parents should be grateful. The following are “important figures.”

1. Teachers

Teachers are among the people who spend the most time with children. We would prefer teachers to directly point out the rights and wrongs to children during their daily interactions. This direct message can effectively “sink in” for the children. Sometimes, facing negative criticism, children will naturally feel unhappy, but it helps them understand the boundaries. Therefore, parents should appreciate the strict guidance of teachers and avoid casually complaining about their efforts.

2. Elders

Many elders may be very strict with their own children but tend to be much more lenient with their grandchildren, sometimes even more so than the children’s parents. However, the status and life experience of elders are actually superior to anyone else’s. Therefore, their “one word of praise” can be more effective than others’ advice. The question is whether they are willing to play the role of the bad guy. If they are, parents should be grateful for their assistance.

Written by: Hong Kong Registered Psychologist, Ching Wai Keung

Around nine months of age, babies become unusually clingy. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, the baby may appear extremely anxious, clinging tightly to the mother and even crying loudly.

Separation anxiety can lead to two different types of reactions. In some cases, when separated from the caregiver, the baby will exhibit attachment-seeking behaviors, such as clinging to the mother, trying every possible way to find the mother, or crawling wherever the mother goes (Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971). Separation can also result in behaviors such as despair, resistance, and detachment, depending on the duration of the separation (Bowlby, 1960; Robertson & Robertson, 1989).

A child’s reaction to separation can also change depending on the environment. For example, in a familiar home environment, the child will exhibit less anxiety compared to being in an unfamiliar environment (Ross, Kagan, Zelazo, & Kotelchuck, 1975).

Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

In situations where social resources are scarce, children have little that is fun or interesting to engage with; however, when the objects in front of them show no minor changes and there are no detailed verbal or written instructions, children can still observe the differences and similarities between what they see now and what they have seen before, or make associations with other things they have encountered. They even try to describe their observations in their own words. This is active learning, which not only educates the mind but also unconsciously enhances psychological qualities.

With the continuous advancement of modern technology, everyone can travel the world instantly from the comfort of their homes through television or smartphones. But does watching TV or online information require concentration? It turns out that being able to watch video messages does not necessarily mean that children are attentively learning, as this falls under the category of passive learning. It requires colorful messages and continuous verbal narration, and lacking any of these elements might lead to a lack of focus.

Even though students still need to learn in classrooms today, with the help of information technology, it seems possible for them to see distant scenarios without boundaries. Unfortunately, there are still shortcomings; they need to experience these settings firsthand to gain a more comprehensive understanding and learning experience. Modern learning requires the involvement of more sensory channels to stimulate students’ motivation to learn. Are there other options available?

Human desires are endless, but resources are finite. Is it possible to endlessly stimulate learning through multiple senses? Should we pause and consider why more and more people are proposing vegetarianism, or having a meat-free day on Mondays? Some suggest returning to a simpler, more primitive way of life. Learning activities and arrangements might need similar actions to help children grasp the essence of learning and experience the authenticity of the learning process.

Written by: Cheng Sui Man

One afternoon, as my two-and-a-half-year-old twin boys were eating homemade jelly cups, the older one suddenly said:

“Mommy, help me scoop scoop please!” “Huh? Scoop what?” “Help me scoop scoop.”

At that moment, the older twin pushed the jelly cup and a small spoon towards me, and I suddenly realized: “You want me to help you scrape the jelly clean from the bottom of the cup!”

“Mommy, help me scoop scoop please!” This short sentence contains biliteracy and trilingualism: Cantonese, English, and Fujian. Those who know Fujian or Taiwanese will understand that the “scoop” that my brother is talking about is not the “buckle” of “button”, but the Cantonese pronunciation of Fujian, which is similar to the word “buckle”, and means “to scrape, to pull out, and to dig”. If my brother were to say this to my father, who is 100% Cantonese, I believe that even if father guesses until the sunset, he still won’t be able to figure out its meaning. So where did you learn the word “scoop”? In fact, no one specifically taught my son the word, I believe it was just my mom’s habit of speaking Fujian at home, and as my son listened to her, he picked it up without realizing it. As for the appearance of the English word “Please”, I believe many of you can imagine that it mainly comes from the domestic helper at home.

Is it better for younger children to be exposed to more languages? Not necessarily. Some child psychiatrists say that the language environment in many Hong Kong families is “chaotically multinational,” with parents speaking Cantonese, grandparents speaking Chinese dialects, and domestic helpers speaking Filipino-style English or Indonesian-style Cantonese. Too many different languages can be confusing for young children. It is recommended that children under two years old grow up in a monolingual environment to master one language well before introducing another language into their lives.

Written by：Cheng Sui Man

The children can’t stop coughing, often continuing for an entire month, especially severe in the middle of the night, waking up from coughing, leading to insomnia, and then falling asleep from extreme fatigue. This is torturous for both children and adults! What exactly causes this persistent coughing? Is it sensitivity or inflammation of the trachea? Upon consulting a doctor, it turns out this is also a form of asthma!

Children are naturally more prone to having narrower airways due to their young age, making them more susceptible to nasal congestion, snoring, and even shortness of breath even with just a common cold. However, unlike bronchitis, a common cold usually recovers within a week, but the cough from bronchitis can last over twenty days, so it’s not surprising that the coughing continues for a month from the onset of the illness.

This leads to another question: Why does bronchitis occur? According to doctors, one common cause is the child contracting the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is a very common virus that spreads through droplets and air. It causes the airways to constrict and become inflamed, producing mucus that accumulates and further narrows the airways, stimulating the patient to cough and creating a vicious cycle. Doctors indicate that in these cases, bronchodilator medication may be prescribed to reduce symptoms and allow the child’s immune system to fight off the virus. However, once a child has been infected with RSV, the airways are somewhat damaged, increasing the likelihood of developing asthma in the future. As the doctor explained, my eldest son had indeed been hospitalized due to RSV infection in the past, and since then, every time he catches a cold and coughs, his recovery time is longer than that of my younger son!